it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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