I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
