I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
