Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
