There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize