she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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