I would go down on you faster than GM stock
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
