he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
