i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
