It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
