I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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