dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
