Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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