we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
