Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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