absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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