is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
