i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I will be naked everywhere
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
