He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
