Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
