I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just leave with hair like that
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize