dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I love you.
Bad choice
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