Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
