I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he told me I talked like a deaf person
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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