I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Someone signed my nipple.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
