I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
