If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So much rum. So many feels.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
