I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
