Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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