I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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