I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So much rum. So many feels.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
