i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
