I need help removing her.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
