how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i think i have two assholes
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize