hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
