Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
