it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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