if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
