we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
