got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
