david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
