you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
