you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
