Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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