dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
