Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
