We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
