New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
and she was petting her beer can
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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