I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
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I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
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I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems