You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.