what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
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Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
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Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says