Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine