eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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