Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
