Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
