If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
