Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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