Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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