what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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