You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm too high and old for this...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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