well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
