I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
