I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Found the puke drawer
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
