i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
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i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
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You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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