That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
