what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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