Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
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I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
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I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize