Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
