you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
