I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
