I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
dude. I can hear the air.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
