So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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