Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm having to shit out rocks
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