Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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