i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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