After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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