she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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