There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
