Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
This girl is more easily done than said...
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
